Daily Ruminations of a Man Changing.

Long day...

2010-02-02T14:04:00.000-08:00

...but it was pretty good! I made more sandwiches and salads today and had more prayer time because of all the early morning wandering around Park Ave. which was pretty sweet.

The love of God is amazing and overwhelming. At times, one can only smile like, stupidly big.

A good song is Discovery's cover of "I Want You Back", originally from the Jackson 5. Pretty sweet, beepy noises.

I feel like...

2010-02-01T21:30:00.000-08:00

....I wanna use this for more than just random updates and actually blog.

Today was my day off and boy did I take advantage of it! Slept in 'til 1:22pm I think. THAT'S ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS for those who don't know.

But afterwards, I went over to the Wentworths' (whom have taken me in as like a third son, haha.) and played some Halo with a guy who's been coming recently to NWC. Jessie. He's a great guy and I'm so happy to see him growing in Christ and just enjoying his time and life.

The whole internet thing, I'm on it a lot, but I never do stuff with my accounts. Let's do that now!

I was going to do things with hourly comics today but, eh. It's so hard to get the time to be like, HOLD UP GOTTA DRAW WHAT I'M DOING, and make it look passable by me. And then when I think I'm going to catch up, it's like 7 hours ago since my last one and I'm thinking "WHAT HAVE I DONE, SO MUCH THAT'S WHAT ARGH WHEN DID IT HAPPEN?"

Whatever, I'll try and do it more often. I like the concept and I wanna get better at art.

Google Google Google. Google away!

I need to repent.

2009-12-25T19:16:00.000-08:00

I need to repent. I am a sinful man.

Pray, Pray, Pray

2009-11-20T16:14:00.000-08:00

So, I started reading The Message version of the Bible because I've been looking to get a simpler kind of faith, I feel like. It's been really interesting I think and cell last night was a beast. It was really a turning point.

I'm a son.

It feels great.

Missing Person

2009-11-12T14:44:00.000-08:00

So, I recently rediscovered this thing! I'm going to start using it again because I feel like I got a lot out of just typing down what I felt during devotions and stuff.

John 10:3

2008-05-01T04:44:00.000-07:00

"The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out."

My word for the day is "Listen to the one who healed me." I've got some questions I want to ask Jared (my leader at church for those who don't go) and I'm going to be asking him and Dave since I really believe God worked a lot of healing through him.

I feel the need to do something outside this house today. All day yesterday I was here dealing with the roofers constantly pounding away. Hopefully, I'll be able to escape that at some point.

Stir crazy is the current feeling as I don't have anyone tangible to talk to at the moment. That said, only Christian music has been helping. I feel I'm at least doing something by worshiping.

Making a right judgement

2008-04-29T05:13:00.001-07:00

Oh, how I want to delve into apologetics.

1 Cor 15:55-57

2008-04-22T00:27:00.000-07:00

" "Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

Sunday was a giant "AARON. THIS IS GOING TO BE YOUR NEXT PHASE AND YOU'VE ALREADY STARTED THE PREP. THIS WEEK. PAY ATTENTION." from God.

I enjoy those.

My bus plan for Thursday is settled, I don't know how long it'll take to walk, but we'll go a bit early to find that out. Yes.

2008-04-21T01:01:00.000-07:00

I have been a very distracted person. I'm doing my best to not be.

John 1:12

2008-04-18T00:40:00.000-07:00

"Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God"

Like I said, the best way I could describe Dave is that I would be proud to have him as my father. And on earth, he is the closest person I have ever had to a godly father.

I know he loves me and that he is proud of me.

Jared's cell teaching tonight was on what a good father is and should be and what a person without one is like. What God as a Father truly is.

I've come to the point where I know what a good father is and what I can expect from one. What I can expect from my true Father, God. I know that my spiritual father is loves me, is proud of me, and has taught me what to do to change.

It's my turn to truly rely on God as my Father and use what I've learned from Dave.

1 Peter 5:6

2008-04-17T23:38:00.000-07:00

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand , that he may lift you up in due time."

God's timing is perfect. If I continue working for Him with the right heart, He will definitely take care of me. He has placed me under Jared and I will do my best to serve him as I would the Lord, Himself.

1 Peter 2:6

2008-04-17T23:35:00.000-07:00

"See, I lay a stone in Zion a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame."

I've been really feeling horrible that I wasn't able to serve Dave in the capacity that was needed and just, and I know it's not true, looked down upon is how things have been going down in my head. The verse here completely negates this. God will put me where I need to be and I will never have to worry about being looked down upon as long as I continue to trust in Him who brought me here in the first place.

Intro

2008-04-17T22:36:00.000-07:00

The purpose of this blog is so I can just document what I've been dealing with since Monday, April 14th.

I, most recently, had it revealed to me the true meaning of repentance. It is a recognition of what you've done wrong and actively making an effort to change, relying on Christ to sustain you through the change and to point out where you need to. It is a turning of the heart away from your old life to a life that wants, before all else, to please God.

Having this revealed to me, I was convicted to change my life concerning school.

By the grace of God, I was able to graduate high school. I was taken out of a life lived by a liar, a thief, a rapist, a man that would have been kicked out of his family's house, slowly going insane with a passive-aggressive streak that's the size of this state. There was no reason I should have graduated with my class from the amount of work I'd done, I would have had to take at least one full year to make up all the classes I failed.

A longer story short, I was placed into a loving family at my church, Northwest Community Church. Brought into a group that was lead by a man I honestly can't describe as anything else other than a father to me. I was considered a brother to men whom I greatly admire, and women who beautiful examples of women truly living for God.

Getting back to the revelation, I decided to step down from the group as I couldn't in right conscious continue to participate knowing that I wasn't striving for excellence and what God truly had in store for me.

This whole week, I've been having very erratic sleep. I've been getting attacks that say that I've lost my family. Even though I know it's not true, I've let it get to me.

I know that's just a lie from Satan.

To combat this, I've doing my best to worship because I know God gave me that revelation and that these are the changes that I need to make. I've put myself under Jared because I know that he's a man that will keep me accountable to the changes I've said I'm going to make.

Since my last G12 meeting for a long while, I've been doing my best to get into the Word whenever I've felt down or drained. I feel I've gotten a lot more recently than I had in a while. I'm fully convinced that the challenge Dave gave us to get a revelation of the Cross was preparation for this and is what helped reveal what I hadn't been actively been working towards.

I asked Dave to pray that for a change of heart to one founded on Col 3:23

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men"

I'm doing what I can to make that happen.