Intro

The purpose of this blog is so I can just document what I've been dealing with since Monday, April 14th.

I, most recently, had it revealed to me the true meaning of repentance. It is a recognition of what you've done wrong and actively making an effort to change, relying on Christ to sustain you through the change and to point out where you need to. It is a turning of the heart away from your old life to a life that wants, before all else, to please God.

Having this revealed to me, I was convicted to change my life concerning school.

By the grace of God, I was able to graduate high school. I was taken out of a life lived by a liar, a thief, a rapist, a man that would have been kicked out of his family's house, slowly going insane with a passive-aggressive streak that's the size of this state. There was no reason I should have graduated with my class from the amount of work I'd done, I would have had to take at least one full year to make up all the classes I failed.

A longer story short, I was placed into a loving family at my church, Northwest Community Church. Brought into a group that was lead by a man I honestly can't describe as anything else other than a father to me. I was considered a brother to men whom I greatly admire, and women who beautiful examples of women truly living for God.

Getting back to the revelation, I decided to step down from the group as I couldn't in right conscious continue to participate knowing that I wasn't striving for excellence and what God truly had in store for me.

This whole week, I've been having very erratic sleep. I've been getting attacks that say that I've lost my family. Even though I know it's not true, I've let it get to me.

I know that's just a lie from Satan.

To combat this, I've doing my best to worship because I know God gave me that revelation and that these are the changes that I need to make. I've put myself under Jared because I know that he's a man that will keep me accountable to the changes I've said I'm going to make.

Since my last G12 meeting for a long while, I've been doing my best to get into the Word whenever I've felt down or drained. I feel I've gotten a lot more recently than I had in a while. I'm fully convinced that the challenge Dave gave us to get a revelation of the Cross was preparation for this and is what helped reveal what I hadn't been actively been working towards.

I asked Dave to pray that for a change of heart to one founded on Col 3:23

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men"

I'm doing what I can to make that happen.